Indonesia

Bali, Indonesia the place of dreams, the ultimate honeymoon destination- endless white sand beaches, beautiful sunsets, blissfully peaceful. Well that’s what we thought anyways. Where we got that information from we do not know, because it is blatantly wrong! We imagined landing in a top of the range airport, reminiscent of a hotel, where a little man would be waiting with cocktails for us and would put a necklace of flowers on us, all the while another little man would be playing the bongos or something. Hmmm to say we were mildly disappointed is an understatement. The airport was a dingy room which looked like people actually went around spraying dust about the place and we had to wait an hour to get our visa stamped, not even a vending machine about the place. We later learned that Bali is to Australians, what Ibiza is for us. A cheap hot place, to drink, suntan and go wild for a week or two. Not exactly what we had in mind, but when in Rome do what the Romans do. After a pretty dry month in New Zealand we were ready for some shenanigans!

We came to Bali to meet up with our eternal travel buddy Elton, who was living out there for a few months. He kindly put us up in his house which was outside the city in an area where no tourists really venture. Well that threw us back in Asian culture. We should say we fell back into Asian culture, because we literally did- a lot! The pavement looked like it had just about survived an earthquake and took a lot of concentration not to break an ankle or fall down the gaping holes that we think were suppose to be some sort of drainage system! The novelty of being a whitey was back, with people telling us we were beautiful and inviting us into our houses (yes we missed being minor celebrities!). The laundry lady took a particular shine to Sherry and would literally run down the street waving at her every time she passed by and brought her sisters around to see her!

Elton having lived here for a while, had the Bali drinking schedule down to a T. Sky garden was the HQ. It was six floors up but we were told in was worth the effort. $5 for all you can eat buffet and free beer for four hours- cha-ching! Then back to the Swedes apartment (has anyone else noticed Swedes never travel alone, but it packs! We think they are afraid to interbreed with other nations in case they ruin their perfect genes!) for a game of kings, quick dip in the pool to cool down and then back to sky garden for free drinks for ladies; needless to say we were pretty happy with this set up. Nothing could stop us going out- not even having literally no clean clothes as the laundry lady had seemed to taken them hostage so she could spend some more time with Sherry. One night Sherry even resorted to wearing a pair of running shorts out!

After a few nights out in Kuta, and drinking Sky Garden for all its worth we headed up the coast to the beach town Seminyak. It has a reputation for having beautiful boutiques, coffee shops and bars but alas we saw none of them. We arrived at nine in the morning and decided to get some breakfast before we found accommodation. Luckily we liked the café we stopped in because we spent the whole day there, and we mean the whole day. What started off as a few drops of rain transcended into the worst rain we’ve ever seen. And being Irish we know a thing or two about rain! It was non-stop torrential until eight that night! It was monsoon season in fairness. At the point we gave up, got a taxi and headed back to Elton’s. Epic Fail!

Not to be too downhearted with our abysmal attempt to explore Bali we rose early the next day and set our sights on Ubud, a town famous for yoga and meditation in the middle of the island. Things didn’t get off to a good start when we got stuck on a mini bus with a ridiculously stereotypical annoying America couple- how to explain them…hmmm it seems cruel but the word nerds come to mind. The two of us have often come under that bracket in our days but these guys were another level- we’re pretty sure the guy had a pocket protector and the girl kept going on about her anxiety and taking puffs of her inhaler. Annie was suddenly engrossed in reading her book for the next few hours, leaving poor Sherry to have the lol’s with them!

We fell in love with Ubud from the second we arrived. It is the most elaborately beautiful place we’ve ever been. No details are left unnoticed, every door, wall, floor is crafted with intricate designs and carvings. With all the Buddhism, organic food and yoga floating about the place, it has a very Zen feel about it. We stayed in a home stay with possible the nicest family ever. We payed a ridiculously small amount of money for a private room including breakfast. In fact our week long stay here cost LESS than one night accommodation in a 12 bed dorm in Melbourne, scandalous. There was also the bonus of the really fancy hotel beside us with a pool, where we very sneakily pretended to be part of a tour group and used for the week. We eventually go caught the day before we left but at the stage we were bronzed enough! Outside the town their amazing rice fields and ancient ruins were breathtaking. 

It also has the extra bonus of a monkey park, which was crazy. The monkeys are free t o run about the place, jumping from person to person. You can see through her strained smiles Annie was terrified of the monkey but trying to play it cool. Sherry thought this was hilarious, encouraging them to attack her. Ahem enter Karma. Within two seconds there was a monkey on Sherry’s head, trying to bit her. There was a dodgy day or two where we thought she might have contracted rabies but thank goodness she survived!

The majority of our time in Ubud was spent doing yoga and meditation. Well that’s a lie; we tried one mediation course and let’s just say it wasn’t for us. We were apparently trying to release energy for the chakra by tuning our breathing into certain areas. Hmmm basically it was 20 bona fide hippies in a room, panting heavily and gyrating. We may have wandered into a group orgy were not quite sure! We were supposed to have our eyes closed and be in a non judgmental space, but come on this was like an insane asylum how could we not look and judge. To one side of us there was a girl profusely sweating, as if she was doing hot yoga, another girl who collapsed to the ground (who later in the group discussing explained that her body told her to let go be free and fall, cuckoo). The highlight had to be the Chinese woman who appeared to be running on the spot with her hands like paws at her chest. We made the ultimate mistake at this stage of looking at each other- oh dear lord the compulsive giggles. It took every bit of restraint we had not to burst out laughing. Her explanation was that she had seen a tiger (or Thai-guur as she said it) while she was in the 3rd chakra and the thai-gur told her to run like a thai-gur!! Neither of us had any sort of outer or inner body experience but hey we got a right laugh out of it.

The yoga on the other hand was a success story. Having not done exercise in a long time, it was a relief to stretch the limbs! Restorative yoga with Jose was amazing. It’s done with hanging belts and the weight of your body to align, stretch and strengthen the body- and it’s really fun to swing upside down. Jose was hilarious, he was torn between the yoga, calm persona and his own want for people to stop fucking about and do what he’s telling them! He would start very peacefully telling to you to relax as he distorted your limbs. As your body tenses up, as in a natural when someone is kneeing you in the back he would say a little more vigorously relax. By the third attempt he’d lose the plot and be shouting out you to RELAX! To redeem himself, he’d sit the classic mediation pose and take a breather by ooommmming! He’d then proclaim ‘Feel the intensity of the sensation of the ooommmmm’ and suddenly be back in the Zen mode!!! Poor Jose really needed to use his ooommmmming technique to get back in his Zen mode after the lady beside us while hanging upside down literally farted in his face while he tried manipulating her into position. He took this quite well exclaiming that a little release of air was quite common in this situation. It took all our strength to hold the giggles in. Looking back the fear of him screaming at us was probably the best thing for us and we were bending like straws by the end of it. The highlight of yoga had to be Bali Buddha the café across the road, where we went without fail after every session- the food there can only be described as glorious. The food was organic, fresh, and vegetarian you couldn’t help but feel healthy afterwards!

After a week in Ubud, we were like new woman. Our minds, bodies and sprits were balanced and at ease. What next? Perhaps a retreat with some monks? Advanced yoga for the soul…eh not exactly…how about two weeks of drinking the heads of ourselves, debauchery and all out fun. Gili Islands here we come!

The Gili’s are three islands in between Bali and Lombok, each characterised by a different level of either party or isolation. Our plan was to spend a maximum of three nights on Gili T the party island and then venture to the others. Rooky mistake! Never go the party island first, our intended three night stay turned into a 15 drinking bender! The only night we didn’t go out was due to what we assume was severe alcohol poisoning that left us unable to move (except to the shop next door for coke). 

Our first night out pretty much set the standard for the rest of our time on the island! We hit Rudy’s bar- known for its cheap but dodgy alcohol. We were only delighted to see that double vodka was only two euro, and after 12 hours of traveling we gladly downed a few. We were later to find out that a Gili island double vodka is the equivalent of a quadruple Irish vodka, that explains why were in bed by eleven..Messes!!! But despite our few hours on the town we made quite an impression with the bar staff. Every time we walked by the bar, they would shout out a couple of Irish phrases and also HEY MARY, HEY SHIELA! So apparently we gave them fake names. For two weeks we were known as Mary (Sherry) and Sheila (Annie).

We gladly fell into a routine of drinking ourselves blind (which is actually a risk here due to methanol poisoning), going wild, staggering home in the early hours, dying hung-over on the beach and having a miraculous recovery just in time for another night out! That first week is a blur. We have literally sat down and tried to distinguish what night was what by looking at the camera, piecing together nights out etc there was the night we were teenage mutant ninja turtles, the night in the Irish bar (enough said), the night of the weird Italians etc but alas it’s still confusing. 

On one of the above nights we were sitting in Rudy’s bar having a few warm up drinks, when the heavens opened and it started lashing down. Not a big deal because we sheltered where were sitting, but OMG what a congregation ended up joining us to avoid the downpour- In possible the oddest half an hour of our lives, we were joined by two Russians with no English, who despite this insisted on trying to talk to us, a simple guy who worked in the bar who they referred to a ‘little bit idiot’, who spent 20 minutes in hysterics when a cup was blown by the wind, a fat guy who worked in the bar who they called ‘fat idiot’ who spent the time singing Adele, a bar man high on mushrooms wearing a black bag on his head, and two drug dealers trying to sell us anything from hash, to green and pink pills to heroine! Finally the rain settled and we were ready to party. Being a victim of frizzy hair( which earned her the nickname sideshow bob!) Annie asked Sherry to fix her hair. Sherry with a few drinks on her proclaimed, qoute 'your hairs fine, trust me it looks gorgeous, I wouldn't let you out otherwise' unqoute. Well either Sherry secretly hates Annie and is trying to bring her down or she a fan of the afro look because two minutes later when Annie was in the bathroom a lady boy with not one word of english came over to her. With a lot of hang signaling he/she explained how the hair was out of control and possible offensive. He then took the bobbin out of his own hair and insisted in tying up Annie's hair. At least you can rely on lady boys to tell you the truth, thanks Sherry!!!

Aside from being famous for cheap drink, Gili T is also famous for cheap food. Every night a market is set up in the main square where u can get a feast for less than a euro. After a few days of testing each stall, we had scoped our favorite items from each and would go from one to the next compiling our meals. We even had a man who would make us food at six in the morning on the way home, and tried without success to teach Annie chess! Nearly everybody on the island would come here for food, the perfect opportunity to spot some hotties before the nights out. Unfortunately it meant you also ran into people you were trying to avoid. Like the nerdy American couple. They caught us one night while we queuing for food, and in their loudest voices did a synchronised ‘HI GUYS”. Eek this was bad for our street cred! Worse still the guy got up and went for a high five. Before his hand was in the air, Annie was gone mortified! Poor Sherry was left standing with him with his hand and lingering in the air. She had no choice but to feebly high five back. Cringe!  

After a week on the island we realised we hadn’t done any of the activities we had planned, snorkeling, diving, and cycling even though we had spent twice as long as we supposed to here. We eventually got around to cycling the island, and what a day we picked- there was a 10k race of with many beautiful men on display. We saw one man that can only be described as a specimen and proof that god does exist. In true Hollywood style he ran by shirtless, ripped and dripping in sweat. We in true looneytoon style suddenly stopped cycling and our jaws hit the floor. We were paralysied, staring at him and drooling. He just meekly smiled as if he always had that affect on women! hubba hubba! Where is the camera when you need it…

The second week we were there, suddenly the island got sooo packed. Overnight the amount of tourist doubled. On Bali it was their national silent day, what’s that you say? Well it’s a day where everyone on Bali cannot turn on lights, go outside or talk. Hmmm not exactly what people plan as part of a wild holiday and hence everyone migrates over to Gili’s. In amongst these guys were the new German friends, Sven and Bennie. With these guys, our Swedish guys and the girls we’d met earlier in the week we went wild for the half moon party that night (and the rest of the week). The time in Gilis flew by so it was quite a suprise to realise we only had one day left on our Indonesia visa. Quick to the mainland to book a flight out of here- where to we do not know. We've really taken well to this traveling thing!!

Tasmania

Ah drunken promises, sure we're all guilty of them, but be warned sometimes they actually come true and you find yourself on a plane to Tasmania on Christmas eve! Like all good fairytales our story began once upon a time many months ago in Laos. While floating down a river in a tube we came across a bunch of boys, we mean men, from Tasmania. Roll on three days, many more trips down the river, buckets of rum, shots of tequila, and alot of drunken talk and we were fully convinced to book flights to Tassie for Christmas and New Years!  In all fairness to us, how could we not take them up on the offer, they sold it so well. Tassie was apparently the most wonderful place in the world, the real capitol of Australia, home to the legend  MaxiTaxi (Brads mum)  who had been endlessly described as the best woman in the world, pure quality. We had pinky promised that we wouldn’t back out so there was no doubt in our mind whether we were going or not. The guys must be a bit shakey on the rules of pinky promsing though because they were surprised when we had actually booked things. We say surprised but poor Brad nearly had heart failure when he had to tell his mother he had promised two Irish girls that they could come to their house for Christmas dinner!  First stop on arrival was chez Doran's where we got a great reception, finally meeting the legend MaxiTaxi. Brad then gave us the grand tour of Launie, i.e the gorge and the rugby club! 

  That evening we went to the rugby club for a quite Christmas eve drink, and well ended up literally swinging from the rafters. Suddenly it was four in the morning. Better get home or Santa won't come...

Waking up on Christmas day ( jingle bells, jingle bells) to the sunshine  in Tasmania was surreal.  If anybody had told us a year ago we’d be there, we would have said your crazy sista! But thats the joys of traveling. Maxi Taxi and Mike could not have done more for us. We were like children when she surprised us with presents.  It was almost as good as the time Annie got a sindey 4x4 from Santa (almost :p). Nothing can describe the food we had that day, bare in mind we’ve been in Asia up until this point. Suddenly we had not just a regular supply of food in a house but a christmas supply! The fridge and presses were bursting with food and oh dear lord they had dairy products- cheese how we’ve missed you. Before dinner had even been served we had devoured, and we mean DEVOURED a platter of cheese, crackers and dip. At the start we politely took some and went back for more, but by the end we had no shame and ate until they were gone. Maxi Taxi out did herself for the mains, those potatoes will go down in history and then the desert- at least a cheesecake and a half between us. We were stuffed! But somehow had room for toasted sandwiches an hour later.

It seemed every relative of the Dorans had showed up for dinner that day, nanny Pat and nanny Peg,uncles,aunts, cousins, there were so many of us that we had the first Shed Christmas dinner to accommodate a table big enough for us all. And the big question on everyones mind was which one of us was Brad going out with?? Well neither of us. He explained this to them, we explained this to them, the other guys explained this but no one believed it. At one point when Annie and Brad were in the garden setting up the table, they looked around to find every female member of the family peering out the window at them..subtle! Being our first Christmas away from home, especially so far away you would expect us to be a little upset, but we actually had possible one the best Christmas we’ve ever had (aside from Christmas 97 when Annie got a sindey 4X4).


The Dorans made us feel so welcome, we couldn’t have asked for more! Just when we thought the day couldn’t get any better, the Doran Christmas shed party started to rock. Reunion time with the Tassie boys from Laos and we did what we all do best, drank the heads of ourselves. If only we had had tubes it would have been like Laos all over again!!

Before we got to Tassie we had asked Brad would he be able to get his hands on a tent for us for our trip down the coast and the music festival, his response was that he might be able to get his hands on something. Eh slight under exaggeration. Tassie folks take camping seriously!! We were expecting a patched up two man tent that would hopefully withstand a gust of wind. But oh no, Brad was equipped- we had a four man tent, complete with gazebo , full cooking supplies, a solar panel fridge, tables and chairs. All that was missing was a wide screen TV. Oh and the most important thing of all, the Yute. Thats a pickup to most people. Brad was up early the next morning and had it packed to the brim with everything one would need for a camping trip. And so we were ready to go on our camping adventure.


Our first stop was Bridspoint, where the Dorans camp every year. If we thought Brad was prepared for camping it was nothing compared to Maxi-taxi.  He obviously learnt from the best, she had everything you could ever need including a microwave.  We went full Tassie that night donning our new Aussie hats (thanks brad), cooking up the left overs of xmas dinner on the BBQ. Sherry got to fulfill another life long dream and "put some shrimp on the barbie" just like a true Aussie and Alf Stewart. We were treated to damper made in the camp fire that night. What's damper you say? We didn't know either! It's  kind of like scones but made out of just flour and soda. Maxi taxi is known as the Damper queen and we could tell why, it was sooooo good. We continued our food binge and devoured it...Swearing the diet would start in the morning! Unfortunately the next day we had to say goodbye to Maxi-taxi and mike (probably a good thing for our waistlines!) to make our way to Hobart. We took the scenic route there. Tassie is as small as Ireland, we could have made it in a few hours but we went to all the hot spots along the coast. We put scouts to shame at our stop in Coles bay, setting up and unreal camp in the wilderness. Altough Annie struggled with cutting the firewood. In hindsight, seeing as there were huge bush fires in the area only a few days later, our camp fire probably wasn't the best idea, but we had it under control we swear. Maria island was our next stop, a national park with no shops, restaurants etc There was a museum though, that gave the history of the island..through song no less, our favourite was the 'Maria island has a king' we can remember two lines but that doesnt stop us belting them out.

The most shocking thing we learnt about Tasmania was that Tasmanian devils are real, not just a cartoon character 'Taz'. Nope they're real. But not only are the real, they are really diseased and dying out. A healthy stock were put on Maria island a few months ago to try and increase their population. Equipped with binoculars we went hunting for them but alas the escaped us, we did however find kangaroos, possoms, wallabies and wombats.

Every story we have from home seems to start with 'when we were at this music festival..' so it seemed only fitting that we got a festival in on our travels! Going to falls music festival for new years was one of the selling point (aside from Maxi-taxi) for us to go to Tasmania. It's the social highlight of the Tassie year! Our first point of call was to get ourselves in some sort of decent state after camping for the week- ten showers later we were  slightly recognisable. Second on the agenda was buying alcohol supplies for the weekend, Annie's first introduction to goon. The drink of choice among 16 year old Aussies and poor backpackers! 4 liters for 10 dollar, yes please! Our third task was the biggie, sneaking the drink into the festival. We were warned repeatable that alcohol is not permitted at falls. Eh relax people, its not allowed in Irish festivals either- you just poor it into water bottles and you'll be grand...Nope not in oz. They cannot be fooled by this so called fool proof technique!! Its 100% not allowed in and if your caught, they not only take your alcohol but they take your ticket from you and kick you out!! very extreme..and therefore we went to very extreme lengths to get the alcohol in. They do full car, boot, bag searches so you really have to commit. We choose the car door route. What's that you say? Well basically, we put all the drink into plastic water bottles, took the door panels off, taped all the bottles in and then screwed back on the doors!! They have been known to catch on to this, if the doors rattle and hang down! We later learnt some other ingenius and meticulous methods, some people had built fake floor on the bottom of the yute's, fake bottoms on the inside of fridges. We even met one group who using syringes had taken all the juice out of capri sun bottles and the syringed in vodka! If theres one thing that will bring out peoples creative side its the thought of paying full price for alcohol for three days of solid drinking.

So with our alcohol stowed we were ready to go. A quick 8am Kopparberg breakfast and we were ready to rock. We met the rest of the car convey and hit the road. The guilty head on the three of us going into the festival. There were warning signs about alcohol everywhere,and as we passed the last 'amnesty point' to drop off the alcohol we were feeling the heat, play it cool guys! We had heard loads of theories on how to avoid getting searched, stick to the left lane, go in before this time etc! We were last in the convoy and signalled to the right hand side..eek! but alas with a flash of a smile and an Irish accent we were waved through woowoo!! It was only when we were through and safe we kind of got dissapointed, all our effort and they didnt even check! What a waste, damn it, we should have brought more in!!! Everyone else got in and thank goodness all the different smuggling approaches worked and we had enough drink to not only supply us for the weekend but possible to start a small bottle-o if we wanted.

We all set up camp togther, forming a little tent village. We had set up the tent so much in the last week we had it down to a T and literally had tent, canopy, the sleeping and drinking area set up in minutes. Within a half an hour we had all the alcohol freed and started the pattern for the next few days, drinking, singing, dancing and fun.

The first day we got to see our child hood hero Coolio! Rodrigous  and Gabriell and the highlight of two door cinema club. Quick sleep, wash of the face and we were ready to go again. Well almost. Everyone was a little ill after the previous days drinking, and was a bit of a struggle to drink. Theres one thing to solve this- a friendly game of DRINKSHEEN!This game we invented in helium a few years ago, its pretty straight forward- every minute you have to shout drinksheen and take a drink. Not to be confused with eh power hour. DRINKSHEEN is much better, and guaranteed to cure all hungoverness and promote fun times. By the end every word must end in SHEEN, as in ANN-SHEEN, SHER-SHEEN, BRAD-SHEEN etc..It was also a major day of bonding with our new bessies, Katie, Tyler and Nick (i.e our gays!). Annie had been admiring Tyler's outfit and when she found out he was going out with Nick she proclaimed- oh that explains the fashion! After venturing down to the stage for a few hours to see some bands we all wandered back to the tent area to top up supplies. It was at this point shit got cray cray! After Brad body dived onto the canopy (nobody knows why!!) the guys started fighting with the poles (eye roll, boys are so stupid and immature). We're not sure how it happened but suddenly we were in the midst of it (after first checking it was covered by our travel insurance) and we were going hell for leather, were lucky no one lost an eye!

After that out came the glow stick, mexican hats (from where we don't know) and we were ready to ring in the new year. Hands down, without doubt it was the best new years, we've ever had! The only downside was when we got back to the camp and our tent had been attacked and was just a pile on the ground. Poor Sherry thought that Annie was inside and was dead until she heard a voice coming from a few tents down. When Annie had come home and seen the tent, after a few pitifully attempts to fix it she had hijacked someone elses tent!

Oh so much fun. The only downside..The hangover...What's worse..It was a goon hangover..Oh goodness new years day 2013 was by all means a rough day for us! For the first time since we left we watched TV, in fact we watch about 7 hours of family guy in a zoombie like state! We tried to redeem ourselves the next day by heading to the Mona museum and Taste of Tasmania, still not quite recovered from the weekend.

 It was an emotional goodbye with Brad but he pinky promised us he would come visit us in Ireland and we all know now if you pinky promise you can't back out :)